Love and Sex

This theme was circulated in 2006 by WebMD but without the women’s interest. Yet it seems to me that a man not wanting sex is the woman’s problem, as much as the man’s (or more so). Maybe he’s OK with no passion but that’s frustrating to the partner. My reading demographic is mainly middle age and Boomers, so this should be a topic of interest to many readers. I have chosen the ones I consider to be the most important 10; not the same as WebMD’s selection. The first question to ask is: is there really a problem at all? It’s widely held that men are all hungry studs and will want sex at every available opportunity. That really isn’t true for most men. Once the wild passion of new romance wears off, a more realistic agenda for regular sex may be relatively infrequently. Also, the woman may be negative about sex. If she gives out the wrong signals, saying she is not interested, a sensitive man may respond by quenching his own desires. It’s still a problem. But I always say, you have to get the real cause to be able to make any successful change. I recall a patient complaining her husband wasn’t up for much sex; I told her to bring him along and I’d fix him. So I did! He jumped her bones and she came back to me, very distressed. “It was disgusting,” she complained, “I’d rather go shopping than have sex at my age.” Poor guy, I thought!

This theme was circulated in 2006 by WebMD but without the women’s interest. Yet it seems to me that a man not wanting sex is the woman’s problem, as much as the man’s (or more so). Maybe he’s OK with no passion but that’s frustrating to the partner. My reading demographic is mainly middle age and Boomers, so this should be a topic of interest to many readers. I have chosen the ones I consider to be the most important 10; not the same as WebMD’s selection. The first question to ask is: is there really a problem at all? It’s widely held that men are all hungry studs and will want sex at every available opportunity. That really isn’t true for most men. Once the wild passion of new romance wears off, a more realistic agenda for regular sex may be relatively infrequently. Also, the woman may be negative about sex. If she gives out the wrong signals, saying she is not interested, a sensitive man may respond by quenching his own desires. It’s still a problem. But I always say, you have to get the real cause to be able to make any successful change. I recall a patient complaining her husband wasn’t up for much sex; I told her to bring him along and I’d fix him. So I did! He jumped her bones and she came back to me, very distressed. “It was disgusting,” she complained, “I’d rather go shopping than have sex at my age.” Poor guy, I thought!

I came across a survey which purported to set the record straight about how long heterosexual intercourse should last. You listen to some guys boast and you’d think it was an all-nighter. Whereas the woman often asks “Have you started yet?” when if fact it’s all over! The verdict from men and women sex therapists […]

I came across a survey which purported to set the record straight about how long heterosexual intercourse should last. You listen to some guys boast and you’d think it was an all-nighter. Whereas the woman often asks “Have you started yet?” when if fact it’s all over! The verdict from men and women sex therapists […] The post How Long Should Sex Last? appeared first on Dr. Keith Scott-Mumby.

Having trouble getting over your ex? When my first wife ran off with another guy, I was pretty beat up. This was after thirty  years of being married. It seemed like life had come to an end. I didn’t expect to get another relationship. Friends all gathered round with advice. The best I got, though […]

Having trouble getting over your ex? When my first wife ran off with another guy, I was pretty beat up. This was after thirty  years of being married. It seemed like life had come to an end. I didn’t expect to get another relationship. Friends all gathered round with advice. The best I got, though […] The post How to get over your ex appeared first on Dr. Keith Scott-Mumby.

OK, I don’t normally share secrets of my intimate private life with the public. But—you know me—wherever there is a lesson to be gleaned and it does somebody some good, somewhere, then I’m right there. A few weeks ago I had an alarming episode that doctors call “transient global amnesia” (TGA). It’s sudden but temporary memory loss following some strenuous or stressful event. In my case it came on after passionate sex with my beloved wife. All of a sudden, I couldn’t remember what we were doing or why. I knew who I was but wasn’t sure about the lady with me! For several hours I was quite confused about recent events and couldn’t get a grasp on things. I remember shopping at the local supermarket but not what we bought. It may result from the deactivation of the brain’s temporal lobes and/or thalamus (the part of the brain that serves as a center for the relay of sensory information). Usually occurring in otherwise healthy persons, TGA triggers memory loss from external stresses such as strenuous exertion, high levels of anxiety, sexual intercourse, immersion in hot or cold water, and other similar conditions.

OK, I don’t normally share secrets of my intimate private life with the public. But—you know me—wherever there is a lesson to be gleaned and it does somebody some good, somewhere, then I’m right there. A few weeks ago I had an alarming episode that doctors call “transient global amnesia” (TGA). It’s sudden but temporary memory loss following some strenuous or stressful event. In my case it came on after passionate sex with my beloved wife. All of a sudden, I couldn’t remember what we were doing or why. I knew who I was but wasn’t sure about the lady with me! For several hours I was quite confused about recent events and couldn’t get a grasp on things. I remember shopping at the local supermarket but not what we bought. It may result from the deactivation of the brain’s temporal lobes and/or thalamus (the part of the brain that serves as a center for the relay of sensory information). Usually occurring in otherwise healthy persons, TGA triggers memory loss from external stresses such as strenuous exertion, high levels of anxiety, sexual intercourse, immersion in hot or cold water, and other similar conditions.

If you’ve read my book “Virtual Medicine” (you should have!), you’ll know that I gave some space to the dangers of periodontal disease. Today it’s probably the #1 marker for heart disease. But do you remember, I also talked on pages 62- 63 about dental dangers, with particular reference to the work of Dr. Patrick […]

If you’ve read my book “Virtual Medicine” (you should have!), you’ll know that I gave some space to the dangers of periodontal disease. Today it’s probably the #1 marker for heart disease. But do you remember, I also talked on pages 62- 63 about dental dangers, with particular reference to the work of Dr. Patrick […] The post Advanced Gum Disease May Raise Cancer Risk appeared first on Dr. Keith Scott-Mumby.

Years ago, I went through a TERRIBLE divorce experience. Looking back, I think I was mentally ill for many years. It didn’t seem that way, but I do remember colleagues kept calling me and saying “Are you SURE you’re OK?” They knew I wasn’t. Things seemed to go through many stages: the classic denial and so forth. There was a period of a year or two when I would have had her back on ANY terms (wouldn’t have solved much, though!) Then there was a period of several more years where I would have had her back on negotiated terms. Eventually, I’m glad to say, I found the real love of my life: Vivien. I’m now actually glad it all happened.

Years ago, I went through a TERRIBLE divorce experience. Looking back, I think I was mentally ill for many years. It didn’t seem that way, but I do remember colleagues kept calling me and saying “Are you SURE you’re OK?” They knew I wasn’t. Things seemed to go through many stages: the classic denial and so forth. There was a period of a year or two when I would have had her back on ANY terms (wouldn’t have solved much, though!) Then there was a period of several more years where I would have had her back on negotiated terms. Eventually, I’m glad to say, I found the real love of my life: Vivien. I’m now actually glad it all happened.